Scent Or A Robot

more human than human I can do it all / French kiss smoke a spliff give a [censored] about baseball / I come home at night to my robot wife drink a light beer and watch me a dvd / I look good you can’t even tell they had me fooled / implanted memories of puberty and pre-school / girls that broke my heart and dark nights in the summer / just a string of primary numbers / didn’t bother me none before I knew / I’m a slave it’s o.k. I’ve got things to do / but then I’m sitting there at work when my e-mail blinks and it’s from the big boss but it wasn’t for me / it’s just another memo about our robot line / “see attached schematics detailing the robot mind” / and I find that when I look close all I see / is a blueprint to manufacture me

I’m a robot programmed not to know that I’m a robot / but some bonehead e-mailed me the computer code that makes up my soul / now I’m running around trying to forget what I know

mad, stunned, a little bit hurt / how many people at work know what I just found out? / ‘round ‘bout noon my boss calls / wants to see me in his office but I stall / for as long as I can but the man comes down to my floor before I throw a tantrum / I can’t run so I sit there with his hand on my shoulder saying, “listen, Pete, you’ve been a real soldier” / said he was sorry that I saw that e-mail and he was hoping that I wouldn’t quit the firm / he told me that I was a joy to work with and brown-nosed me so hard I started to squirm / concerned looks on the faces of the people I work with and lots of small talk with the robot issue skirted / made me nervous so I rolled up and asked my boss if I could have the afternoon off

I’m a robot programmed not to know that I’m a robot / but some bonehead e-mailed me the computer code that makes up my soul / now I’m running around trying to forget what I know

Lucky for me it was a Friday so I stayed away from the office for the whole stinkin’ weekend / my dark mood deepened into a dull depression leaving me with even more damn questions / like what the hell do I tell my robot kids? / and how long does a healthy robot live? / and how did I make it through the airport x-ray? / or was that one of those fake memories? / it ain’t easy knowing the truth I’m blowing a fuse / my soul feels funny like there’s a hole in my shoe / I need a moment or two let me go over the clues / I drank a case of Bud Light it’s still sobering news / I’ve got a few things to do and even more to put in order / walk into the kitchen trippin’ there’s my wife and baby daughter / and they can see by the look on my face so I sit ‘em down and tell ‘em I’ve got something to say

Honey? / “yeah?” / Snookums? / “what?” / you’re not going to like this / “what did you do this time?”

I’m a robot programmed not to know that I’m a robot / but some bonehead e-mailed me the computer code that makes up my soul / now I’m running around trying to forget what I know