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Camouflage Is Relative

by Pete Miser

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1.
So Sensitive 03:04
1. So Sensitive (P.Ho, Big Brother Lin Drum Music, BMI) Greenpoint, player / Portland, Oregon original rhyme sayer / Captain Cross Fader / weigh a buck fifty with a back pack / still dumb enough to slap Shaq and tell him that he raps wack / a loose screw / nothing like what you’re used to / I swoop through with my crew who abuse glue / refuse to chill out / gettin’ dogged by broads before they’re old enough to fill out / I smoke bowls with no weed in ‘em / I wear tight drawers made of unwashed denim / I’m skinny like John Lennon with them little round glasses / got beat down by Dido fans for my back stage passes / dropped four tabs of acid didn’t feel the effects / next night I got wasted off half of a Becks / wound up in twelve steps with everyone concerned / Mom shaking her head knowing I’ll never learn / third degree rug burns from b-boying on the shag / and nothing but rocks up in my trick or treat bag / my girl thinks I’m a fag and she’s leaving with the kids / I said, “I’m not gay but my boyfriend is” it ain’t easy being me / with all these insecurities I’m such a sensitive m.c. / but mama never told me I’d have days like this I need a hug! I’m just your average every day basket case / when I was young plastic glasses with the masking tape / hit the junior high looking for some ass to chase / instead of gettin’ down I wound up with a slap in the face / forever lacking the grace so if she says no I’m back in her face like, “you promised!” / at least I’m being honest / the longest that I’ve gone without getting any play? / well, let’s see does that mean, like, going all the way? / o.k., I admit it I never fully did it / one time I came close but my cousin, she wasn’t with it / she said that I exhibit some unhealthy behavior / plus she didn’t like the stolen bracelet that I gave her / I said maybe if I paid her so she slapped me too / tried to turn the other cheek but it was black and blue / I said, “it’s alright, baby, I ain’t mad at you” / she said, “excuse me, no one here was even asking you!” it ain’t easy being me / with all these insecurities I’m such a sensitive m.c. / but mama never told me I’d have days like this I need a hug!
2.
Scent Or A Robot more human than human I can do it all / French kiss smoke a spliff give a [censored] about baseball / I come home at night to my robot wife drink a light beer and watch me a dvd / I look good you can’t even tell they had me fooled / implanted memories of puberty and pre-school / girls that broke my heart and dark nights in the summer / just a string of primary numbers / didn’t bother me none before I knew / I’m a slave it’s o.k. I’ve got things to do / but then I’m sitting there at work when my e-mail blinks and it’s from the big boss but it wasn’t for me / it’s just another memo about our robot line / “see attached schematics detailing the robot mind” / and I find that when I look close all I see / is a blueprint to manufacture me I’m a robot programmed not to know that I’m a robot / but some bonehead e-mailed me the computer code that makes up my soul / now I’m running around trying to forget what I know mad, stunned, a little bit hurt / how many people at work know what I just found out? / ‘round ‘bout noon my boss calls / wants to see me in his office but I stall / for as long as I can but the man comes down to my floor before I throw a tantrum / I can’t run so I sit there with his hand on my shoulder saying, “listen, Pete, you’ve been a real soldier” / said he was sorry that I saw that e-mail and he was hoping that I wouldn’t quit the firm / he told me that I was a joy to work with and brown-nosed me so hard I started to squirm / concerned looks on the faces of the people I work with and lots of small talk with the robot issue skirted / made me nervous so I rolled up and asked my boss if I could have the afternoon off I’m a robot programmed not to know that I’m a robot / but some bonehead e-mailed me the computer code that makes up my soul / now I’m running around trying to forget what I know Lucky for me it was a Friday so I stayed away from the office for the whole stinkin’ weekend / my dark mood deepened into a dull depression leaving me with even more damn questions / like what the hell do I tell my robot kids? / and how long does a healthy robot live? / and how did I make it through the airport x-ray? / or was that one of those fake memories? / it ain’t easy knowing the truth I’m blowing a fuse / my soul feels funny like there’s a hole in my shoe / I need a moment or two let me go over the clues / I drank a case of Bud Light it’s still sobering news / I’ve got a few things to do and even more to put in order / walk into the kitchen trippin’ there’s my wife and baby daughter / and they can see by the look on my face so I sit ‘em down and tell ‘em I’ve got something to say Honey? / “yeah?” / Snookums? / “what?” / you’re not going to like this / “what did you do this time?” I’m a robot programmed not to know that I’m a robot / but some bonehead e-mailed me the computer code that makes up my soul / now I’m running around trying to forget what I know
3.
Table Scraps 03:26
it’s been a minute since Radio Free was finished / made a fella start to worry his fan base diminished / got a few heads in it a few djs to spin it but it all had a limit (it was all my bread) / that’s cool, ‘cause it was all my head that it came out of and I doubt another m.c. does it quite like this / didn’t move no weight to make the money to manufacture just counted on some pure words to capture the hearts and minds / plus I started to find that I only started to shine when I gave up trying / made up rhymes since way back when I was in ninth grade with no friends and no ends and I stayed to myself with some family shit to deal with / which is probably why so many damaged kids feel this / I believe people crave what’s real and I believe being real is why I never had a record deal I know that you got plenty of food / but I’ll make do with the table scraps / you don’t even see what you got for free Is a meal for me / table scraps we’re out here battling to make it take it to the next step / navigating everything from hate to death threats / can’t rest yet so I guess my best bet is to proceed with reckless abandon as my guide / standing on the side watching my friends fight / trying to make it through the night without losing sight / nothing feels quite right but not enough is wrong for me to stop the song so once again it’s on / we’ve got to hold tight through cold nights and dark days / some pray to God while other’s drink and spark js / the heart plays tricks / the mind goes blank / while I give thanks for the table scraps I know that you got plenty of food / but I’ll make do with the table scraps / you don’t even see what you got for free Is a meal for me / table scraps
4.
Final 04:55
can you explain what you was thinkin’? / can you explain why you done lost your mind? / can you explain what you was thinkin’? / can you explain why you was always lying? just ran into my ex-bitch / you know, the one I gave the necklace? / the one that crept with other dudes and got reckless? / I bet this is going to seem a surprise but I still catch them feelings when I look in her eyes, player / even after all of them lies and hard tries / no matter how she did me, man I still feel obliged to treat her with respect even though she don’t deserve it / she’s a bad habit, just waiting to resurface / and I’m nervous when I have to deal with her still get her under my skin even though I can’t begin to describe how foul her style when it came to hypocritical behavior / man, I should’ve just played her it’s them same funky feelings that I’m gettin’ again / and it’s a shame when you’re dealing with your ex-girlfriend after she done played you like a dusty piece of vinyl / I’m saying, this time it’s really final can you explain… look, bro I know you’re thinking, “What the hell? Pete done fell under the spell of some ghetto Jezebel” / and it’s true, not very thuggish or rapper-like of me to get caught up with a girl who didn’t really love me / it got ugly for a second there, homie / lonely ass Pedro missin’ my one and only / but you know me, a fella gotta be strong / keep on and bounce back like ping pong / word to my dad I had it bad for months / more than once I went to call her, man, I can’t even front / and if Sprint didn’t suck I would’ve let my guard fall / but every single time I tried my phone dropped the call / thank you Sprint PCS for having such faulty service / that you saved me from this foul-ass bitch! it’s them same funky feelings that I’m gettin’ again / and it’s a shame when you’re dealing with your ex-girlfriend after she done played you like a dusty piece of vinyl / I’m saying, this time it’s really final can you explain… alright already boo hoo / I know it, homie, you knew the moment you met her that she was bad news / had you fooled not for one minute but I was in it knee deep / picture that, me, Pete gettin’ that ill treatment on frequent occasions / my patience wearing thin like the skin on a soap bubble / yeah, she was trouble but inspiring, son / had a feeling I’d be burned when it was finally done / and as it came to pass she was a pain in the ass / instead of being “the one” she was relationship class / bright lights burn fast then they’re gone in a flash / I find myself trying to ask “what the hell was on my mind?” / I know that love is blind and some of the time it ain’t easy but believe me if she’s one of a kind she can make up for every other break up and wake up that guarded part of your heart that started to smart / so I’ve got no regrets and in the end I would do it again / I keep the faith, no matter how I might pretend / and I commend all of y’all who keep an open mind ‘cause real love ain’t easy to find It’s them same funky feelings that I’m gettin’ again / and it’s a shame when you’re dealing with your ex-girlfriend after she done played you like a dusty piece of vinyl / I’m saying, I guess it’s never final Can you explain…
5.
Salvation 01:10
quick to get in a cat’s grill P.O. to the Catskills / I rap ill for underprivileged who now stack bills / it’s tactile the way you feel it like shrapnel / Christ couldn’t save sinners but maybe rap will / the tracks spill out of my brain and stain cds / I used to go hungry for music but now it feeds me / might get greedy but never take it for granted / I managed to span the whole damn planet to understand it /just a man with a four track and stack of vinyl / I hear the devil has plans for hands that are idle / I’ve rocked recitals on stadium stages all the way down to basements made in the darks ages / alleyways beneath the Cali haze to New York streets / underground to jiggy beats / Brazil to London big up to Japan / and any other spot where there’s hip hop fans This is how we get down…
6.
Pete: current physicists tell us time doesn’t really exist they must live in Manhattan / but it’s a theory that I’d like to believe ‘cause it means my career’s already crackin’ / they make the point time’s a construct of man to help us navigate events that happen / in that case I’d like to thank Brian Greene for making all my future records go platinum it’s about time space beats and crew / it’s about a minute ‘til my whole life’s through / it’s about the seconds that we pass through / now do you have the time or does time have you? X-Kid: borrowed time is never empty / internet connected smpte codes / cock, reload then expand now we explode / through time restraints restrictions / stickin’ to my convictions / switchin’ changing position relinquish wicked religions / operated like a digital clock tickin’ (conflicting decisions) / the true meaning of life is hidden / nothing’s forgiven deadlines there’s no relenting / my ego has risen / radioactive emissions in my transmissions / I’m floatin’ thru stars shining / burnin’ I’m earthbound / designing maps of urban compounds / my street sounds gaining momentum beatin’ the shot clock / I’m on block watch / top notch heavy handed, harder than hard rock / day to day livin’ is rough enough / traffic never movin’ steady congested up (pick it up) / pace quickens, capitalism, the plot thickens / am I runnin’ out of time? / who knows? / my mission’s spittin’ venomous sound bytes at mic fiends / strictly diggin’ chicks with tight jeans / I write things ahead of my time / igniting schemes I’m ice cream reliving the dream / until the ends justifying the means it’s about time… Pete: had about two months to make an album now I’m up against the deadline / grindin’, hittin’ the redline up six hours past my bed time / I guess I’m stressed by the need to be making beats / hittin the streets for inspiration ain’t no break for my achin’ feet / takin’ a leak / maybe eat but I won’t sleep for weeks / pissed off most of my friends because I flake out when we plan to meet / like I’ve been stressed since KRS said Shan is weak / but I’ve got standards that I just can’t stand to cheat / it takes me hands and feet to count my worries as I hurry from place to place to show my face / haste makes waste they say but if you ask me haste is what it takes so I smooth dip in the party late and leave early without a trace / face facts I make raps and it takes that drive to stay alive while others lay down like a placemat / haystacks ain’t got nothing on the rap game where m.c.s are the straw and the needle is the fame / but all the same sometimes I find my pen out of rhymes / and the city hits me in that way that leaves me out of my mind / but it brings me peace when I feast my eyes on New York streets at least once I know the record’s released it’s about time…
7.
8.
typical Williamsburg broad rockin’ Sauconies got to be hot to look good this goofy / “I remember Lucy” but Lucy never rocked this stuff; big cuffs, tattoos and top tubes / got dudes rubberneckin’ steppin’ easy out on Bedford / millennial Redfords in their cowboy hats that cost ninety nine cents or less at a store by the same name / shame wouldn’t let ‘em wear the best / funny how cats dress down in this hip part of town / I found quickly that it’s sticky on these stank ass blocks / not shocking but them lofts cost three thousand bones / graffiti downstairs says “yuppie go home” / and on the south side the divide is more evident / residents turn a bent brow in her direction / “hard like an erection” but not Ed O.G. / slowly she walks by their hawk eyes and the south side be like, “who the fuck are you?” / and the north side be like, “well who the hell are you?” / and the south side be like, “who the fuck are you?” / Williamsburg is a trip every time I come through fly little number / wonder what she’s got on her mind behind them seventies shades and French braids / she stays on south second with her son and her man / Latina le femme Nikita sans the gun in her hand / summer of Sam type hot / fat rock on ring finger / lingering scent as she passes so every other man harasses / gasses her with meaningless words, “I’ll give you cash and fur and everything you deserve” / she cracks a smile wild cute ‘cause she heard it before / like every single day L train to front door / ever since she was a teenager passin’ his store / but it’s her godfather, yo and he’s like seventy-four! / she knows every nook and cranny of this block from this shop to the spot around the corner where she copped her first lip lock / tick tock in time / young and unrefined / back when she was a nine now a full grown dime / and look how the neighborhood’s changed / the new neighbors are strange / the rent’s been insane ever since they came / she strains to pay the bills but all it means is she’s giving up picking up and moving to Queens and the south side be like, “who the fuck are you?” / and the north side be like, “well who the hell are you?” / and the south side be like, “who the fuck are you?” / Williamsburg is a trip every time I come through I’m at the L Train station, Bedford Ave wastin’ time composing rhymes about gentrification / trippin’ off the people spillin’ down the stairs / by nine a.m. there be a million people chillin’ down there / some of them dark skin some of them fair / some of them rich some poor / some posted up to be the first through the door / at the end four b-boys caps to the back baggy pants gettin’ cold with freestyles in Polish / and I don’t understand a word so I sit and observe the whole song / how people get along / how people say it’s wrong when the demographic changes but New York don’t change it just rearranges / strange is the fact that if you go way back this neighborhood was Canarsie Indian not white or black / and if you ask me it’s their joint but I ain’t trippin’ ‘cause I stay in Greenpoint
9.
Old News 04:10
Dionysos: everyday I pull out fifty cent, pick up the news / Jews killing Muslims, flip it, Muslims killing the Jews / fake Christians get rich on some conservative shit / greasing each other’s palms to extinguish the itch / it’s not freedom or democracy it’s capitalist / same system had me locked up in a slavery ship / same genocidal reasons all these people are gone like the Chippewa the Iroquois the list goes on / news is nothing new it’s propaganda and lies / common justification trying to legitimize gross historical crimes / the imperial vines that be stretchin’ across the planet to take over our minds / so a few fat inbred pigs can stack gold / and right now they’re after that Texas black gold / just like before ‘bout a decade ago / it’s almost boring the story is so old what’s news is old and what’s old is new / “what’s up, man?” / “what’s good, son, what’s up with you?” / “same struggle different day, man I thought you knew” (old news) Stimulus: now let me speak for a second / on behalf of those you claim you’re representin’ / with expansion plans and big weapons / used for baggin’ land and cash getting’ / in the name of the future and the present / like the past and teach my ass a few lessons / about the reasons behind your transgressions / liberty and justice, yeah, right you ain’t the type so stop messin’ / around with the compound brown from downtown / with heartfelt sound that blasts off like rounds / put holes in your campaign like Swiss cheese on missile range / your lies are see through like glass and window pane / it’s the same old thang when guns go bang bang / and steel swords clang and the registers rang / and if you told me to my face that you’d kill to raise wage / I might think a little harder when I asked for more pay what’s news is old and what’s old is new… Pete: now I don’t want to sound like a broken record but, look we all know that politicians are crooks / corporations cook the books / no one gets caught for what they took / and in the end we defend and elect ‘em again / I can’t pretend like you ain’t heard this before / I know you’re saying, “I done been through this shit for sure / anytime I start to win then they flip the board, change up rules, confuse me and switch the score” / may as well run up in here yellin’ “hit the floor!” / brandishing guns like, “everybody run your funds!” / it’s just them white collar thugs ain’t gotta holler ‘cause they’ve got the system with ‘em backin’ ‘em up just like the dollar does / George Bush is a criminal like his father was / Abu Ghraib ain’t nothing new what you thought it was? / ain’t shit changed but dates and names unless the people take back the game what’s news is old and what’s old is new…
10.
11.
Let Me Know 04:00
you probably don’t get it but I let you get under my skin / enough with fakin’ the funk, come on let it begin / it’s a long drive home I think you should invite me in / for a night cap might crack the ice and have to swim now is it me? / should I write a rhyme? / about what we both have on our minds? / I’m not the type to say “girl you’re so fine” / but I will, just give me a sign / now is it me? / should I write a rhyme? / about what we both have on our minds? / I’m not the type to say “girl you’re so fine” / but you are, so give me a sign and let me know… now how you gonna act like you ain’t feeling it too? / when you’re the one who called me up at quarter to two …A.M. / talkin’ ‘bout, “it’s Friday night. What are you ‘bout to do” / I’m about to track your ass down / I thought you knew now is it me? / should I write a rhyme? / about what we both have on our minds? / I’m not the type to say “girl you’re so fine” / but I will, just give me a sign / now is it me? / should I write a rhyme? / about what we both have on our minds? / I’m not the type to say “girl you’re so fine” / but you are, so give me a sign and let me know… let me know what the deal is for real is this on the way to a kiss or a potential diss? / I’m a throw what I have to at you miss / ‘cause I know it gets better right after this / and if you give me one chance I’ll harass you with hand crafted game to make your ass submit / I’m laughin’ it’s like I’m some kind of masochist / so what’s up? / are you in or you out? / been swimmin’ in doubt from beginning to end / and every one of my friends recommends a different approach for getting you roped like a rodeo / but what do my homies know? / no more beating around the bush / I won’t push / it’s not just about your looks –Well it kinda is / but I’m talking now, mind your biz / trying to make sure the one your girls find you with is me? / should I write a rhyme? / about what we both have on our minds? / I’m not the type to say “girl you’re so fine” / but I will, just give me a sign / now is it me? / should I write a rhyme? / about what we both have on our minds? / I’m not the type to say “girl you’re so fine” / but you are, so give me a sign and let me know…
12.
I See You 04:15
I see you in your S.U.V. looking at me checking to see what kind of skateboard I’m on / with your thin wrists drippin’ with shine / twistin’ your neck just to check me ‘til you break your spine / think I’m blind? / Me and my boys crackin’ up ‘cause the light turned green and you got traffic backin’ up / check the plates out of state should’ve known / what up, Jersey girl? You’re a long way from home …looking at me I see you looking at me… I see you three girls deep down the street with some fly high heels wrapped around your feet / and your toenails done as the sun lights your smile up / and enough badunk to cause a ten car pile up / high-post uptight like conservative white folks / but I bet your chill side would surface if I spoke / I know fellas is trifle / steady trying to kick it too you like tae bo / and I’m so grimy in comparison it’s embarrassin’ / got me weak in the knees like Nancy Kerrigan / you and your girls spending all your pop’s money / laughing ‘cause you say me and my boys talk funny / “alright then, whatever, I’m not your type then hope you and your stuck up friends get hit by lightning” / out of my league and can’t give me no play / so why you looking back my way? I see you looking at me… I see you that night in the club with your homegirls cuttin’ a rug gettin’ nothing but love / givin’ fellas nothing but shrugs when they approach you / flirtin’ just to see how much they’ll go through / and I see you when you spot me in the dj booth on the ones and twos / know you recognize me but you’re still confused like “isn’t that, oh my god, are you that dude?” / little hand up in the air like, “right here” / other hand gripping the neck of a light beer / shorty, it’s quite clear that you had nothing to say when you were mean muggin’ me earlier that day like, “where do you stay?” and “what do you drive?” and “why do your friends have such bloodshot eyes?” / but all the sudden now you’re feeling hip hop guys / so on the microphone just to get the party live I go, “yes yes, to all y’all superficial, joe millionaire watchin’, fair weather females in the house! We’re gonna do it a little something like this!” I see you looking at me…
13.
Pete: can’t battle depression with a handgun, handsome good looks, the good book or keys to a mansion / phantom good moods allude me like they owed me money / then sneak back to make my dark days sunny / funny how it always goes down like that / gray days slip away but yo, they’ll be right back / gotta wonder why they up and hit me like that / kinda worried that’s the stuff that makes me write raps / but I stay… on time Pacific Northwest blue / packed up my turntables said goodbye to the crew / a childhood of rainy days was finally through / but, man, it rains in New York too Blowout: I understand what you’re going through, man / I went through a lot, dude / even though we’re two of the same I’m not you / but I’m still not new in the game / I’ve obtained some experience with serious pain / not the kind that you physically feel but what makes the mind mentally ill / it’s really the will that’s healing me up / open wound sealing it shut / so when I’m talking it’s especially real / you still wanna build? I’m here for you fam, what’s up? / let me help you with a plan if you’re stuck / let’s first analyze why you say the place sucks / let’s break it down what sucks the phony fake fucks? / you like it natural no make up / understandable but there’s no manual for trust so we still gotta get on the bus and move on / put your ear to the phone and leave it alone / you’re grown and you do what you do but it rains in New York too Pete: look, I’m not complaining I’m just saying it ain’t easy / man, this music hardly feeds me but it keeps me on this side of sane / the city hits me it be on my ass daily / maybe I just wasn’t blessed with the right kind of brain / I sit and watch stock brokers and out of towners down in Soho spending thousands on a meal for six then bump into one of my long lost friends out in Bushwick looking crazy trying to find him a fix / to say the least I came east to escape my dark ages / I’ve got pages in my rhyme book that y’all will never see / never be quite as bad as it was when I was young / when my family got damaged by a bag and a gun / the youngest son from a city where the sky stays gray / no matter what it’ll be in me ‘til the end of my days / if I believed in God I’d pray but I just can’t say so instead I packed up and moved away but I stay on time Pacific Northwest blue / packed up my turntables said goodbye to the crew / a childhood of rainy days was finally through / but, man, it rains in New York too
14.
All I Do 07:44
Maya: how you livin’? / how you livin’? / what you’re given? / is it all that you thought it’d be? Pete: used to be I saw graffiti outlines in dried leaves / used to have a battle rhyme ready for every m.c. in the whole wide world back when I told my girl, “don’t make me choose between hip hop and you ‘cause you’ll lose” / had a crew of young fools into forties and guns, shorties and fun by all means necessary / scary how we used to act back, back in the day / the soundtrack to my life with a hi hat tap tappin’ away / in fact I prayed for the day that I got paid for the rhymes I made / stayed with it through thick and thin / didn’t listen when mom sighed and eyed me with them disappointed looks like, “you should’ve hit the books” for all I do, for all I see / for all I know, for all I be / for all I need, for all I bleed / for all b-boys, graf writers, djs and m.c.s for all I do, for all I see / for all I know, for all I be / for all I need, for all I bleed / is it all that you thought it’d be? Pete: lookin’ back, yeah those were the days / you were in K-Swiss I was rockin’ a fade / had my mom hopin’ it was only a faze / busy with the rhymes never mindin’ my grades / we were two of a kind trying to find who we were / messed around those days disappeared in a blur / you were poppin’ at Jenn and had a baby by her / told me you were in love but you didn’t sound sure / but that’s all ancient history now / I tell your kid to be proud, “your old man was a dope m.c.” / she just rolls her eyes and waits for me to stop / eleven years old and she don’t even like hip hop / but yo, we know the deal and how it made us feel and how we still get sparked by something that’s real / I’d beg borrow and steal to give you back them days / my mom still trippin’ out ‘cause it’s a life long faze for me / will I blow up? hmm, wait and see / got a whole bunch of beautiful people to take with me / and I owe hip hop more than I could ever repay so I spread love every day for all I do… Maya: we had all the time in the world before money was an issue / before fame was an issue / sittin’ on the stoop spittin’ rhymes / dance from the heart / now I’m coming up / and I’ll meet you where you’re at / you don’t seem to be so happy / how you livin’? / are you about what you said? / or is that dead? / childhood dreams, baby screams / the fight to be free / to express what we / what we just want to be how you livin’? / how you livin’? / what you’re given? / is it all that you thought it’d be? for all I do…

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released January 1, 2004

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Pete Miser Brooklyn, New York

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